A reflection of Christmas in Florida.
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(T+L) -- Blame it on my childhood. During the 1970s in suburban Worcester, Massachusetts, it was long my mother's ambition to grace our brick Colonial with hush-inducing purity. She thought that by putting a single candle in each of the windows at Christmas, our house would be the envy of the neighborhood— a magical locus of holiday coziness and kinship, the visual equivalent of nutmeg.
What transpired, though, out of inertia and a fear of flames, was a different matter altogether. She bought only two candles, both electric, which were put in two ground-floor windows. Their streaky, uncertain light took the form of two vertical smears on either side of our front door; it looked like our house was crying.
The following week, my mother and I drove by a neighbor's extravagantly decorated home—gobs of colorful, twinkly bulbs swathing house and shrubbery; a sleigh; windows caked with aerosol snow. Mom: "We're gonna need more candles."
We never got those candles, and so my interest in this garish form of beauty is born of deprivation. By turns awesome and hokey, Christmas lights reflect man's struggle to create something as beautiful as dusk or dawn; they're fireworks in suspended animation. Their earliest historical antecedent is probably the pagan Yule log of northern Europe, which burned for many days during the dark winter solstice, thus rendering it a symbol of hope.
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But if the contemporary iterations of this symbol are any guide—so often does a Milky Way of man-made twinkle reveal a rat's maze of black electrical cable—then the current byword would seem to be less hope and more Martha Stewart's worst nightmare.
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Indeed—whether in Worcester or Copenhagen or Hong Kong or Medellín, Colombia—Christmas lights have the curious ability simultaneously to slightly repel us and to put us at ease. At first blush we think, "Good Lord, what is this wanton, throbbing blight on the landscape, and what is its potential damage to the world's energy resources?" But upon further reflection we decide, "Let's find a parking space, shall we?"
Hark, the Mission Inn Hotel & Spa, in Riverside, California, where 3.6 million lights annually shed their buxom charms on 400-plus animated figures, horse-drawn-carriage rides, Santa, fireworks, and live reindeer! Hark, the light-bedecked Tanglin Mall, in Singapore, just 85 miles north of the equator, where children have been known to throw "snowballs" created by a foam-making machine at a shopping center lined with luxury boutiques! Hark, the Simmons family of Cathedral City, California's Dancing Christmas Light Show, with seven miles of cable, more than 150,000 LED lights, and narration over a short-range radio station called the Icicle from a former Price Is Right announcer!
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Christmas lights are a civic obligation. They're a form of advertising. They're a gateway drug for other holiday dysfunction. Whatever their particular function—and regardless of whether they're hung by cities or their residents—all these twinkling bulbs help broaden the definition of Christmas. Sure, everyone knows that an elegant wreath of holly, when secured to a mantel or antique wooden door, can distill end-of-year cheer faster than you can say "Miracle on 34th Street," or how stumbling upon pine boughs that are maypoled up a shepherd's-crook streetlight can suddenly transform you into a ruddy-cheeked Dickens character with a name like Mrs. Cumbersnoot.
But what of the giant, green fluorescent clam whose Santa hat of twinkly lights looks like a strange, predatory apostrophe? What of the scrum of light-saddled fiberglass elves that have been cunningly gathered around a city hall's drainpipe? These, too, are Christmas, my friend. And these, too, have their charms.
For those of us who enjoy Christmas-light viewing as a spectator sport, it's the regional or location-specific twists that linger long in the mind. When a standard-bearer like New York City's Rockefeller Center trots out its towering tree, or Vienna strings up its giant, globular, all-white chandeliers of lights that lead up to St. Stephen's Cathedral, both efforts yield a generalized Christmas ideal that could be happening anywhere in the world.
But you know you're in Ocean City, Maryland, when you see lights that portray how Santa hooked a marlin while trolling from his charter boat, the HoHoHo. You know you're in San Antonio, Texas, when 1.8 million lights on 200 trees and 20 bridges illuminate flesh-and-blood carolers who warble from the decks of passing river barges.
Or maybe the absence of lights is a clue to your location: consider the Sichuan restaurant in Beijing that has covered its tree not with radiant bulbs but with chili peppers. Or maybe, best/worst case scenario, the concept of location itself is altogether a moot point.
Think of the swirling cloud of cultural dissonance you'd witness if you traveled to Copenhagen's Tivoli Park to look at the lights strung on the park's Japanese pagoda. For the full effect, you'll probably want to wear a guayabera and recite from the Koran.
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I also welcome a tiny amount of emperilment to my viewing; a whiff of danger can be a valuable component in the one-two punch of repulsion and ease.
"Due to high electrical voltage, please DO NOT enter the show area or yard for any reason! Failure to observe this rule could result in serious injury or death": this is a warning not for a downtown area or a rodeo, but rather for a private home (belonging to the aforementioned Simmons family of Cathedral City).
Suddenly the stakes are raised. Suddenly I'm on board.
Indeed, there have been instances where I've walked toward some of these twitching, thrumming displays—and suddenly feared that these giant spiderwebs of pulsing electricity are bug zappers, but for people. It's all too easy to imagine how my body would ricochet from bulb to bulb, emitting a scarifying screech of smoke and crackle, whereupon I'd crash to the floor, a human crouton.
So often do lighting displays' rickety natures or excessiveness lead to anxiety that it takes no effort to misread a haphazardly copyedited 1995 article from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Visitors to Atlanta's Starr Park, the article claimed, would encounter "a playground area decorated with lighted reindeer."
Run, Blitzen!
A brush with danger, followed by a sense of relief: looking at Christmas lights is a slap and then a kiss. I remember sitting in a café in the Piazza della Rotonda, in Rome, some years ago, half of my then-boyfriend Jess's face illuminated by a fiery crimson glow from a string of Christmas lights hanging on the building's front. The slash of red slicing across his face gave him the look of an angry elf or of the "before and after" picture in an infomercial for satanic rituals. I couldn't reconcile the shaky, blood-evocative light with Jess's button-down temperament and oxford shirt, nor with the magisterial, late-evening hush of the piazza and its dusty stone monuments.
But then I looked across the square at the centuries-old Pantheon and thought of ancient Rome. I thought, Centurions, pillaging, vino. I thought, Bacchanalia, bonfires. Just then, it all came together for me.
And what of my mother and Christmas? The electric candles have long since been lost. A few years back, Mom moved to a retirement community in Durham, North Carolina, whose gift shop she manages. She recently told me, "Last year I hung all my Christmas lights and swags in the shop. But afterward I was too lazy to put them away in boxes, so they're all in my bathtub now."
This month, these bulbs and boughs and wreaths will decorate the gift shop again, but Mom and I will be in Key West. We're excited about the prospect of Floridian holiday excess, and we're fairly certain the island will cough up some high-level twinkle.
I told Mom that last year's festivities there included a Harbor Walk of Lights, a lighted boat parade, a vodka-company-sponsored tour of decorated Victorian guesthouses, and an underwater light display. She weighed in with, "Their decorating committee is very active." Christmas will once more shine Mylar-bright.
There will definitely be enough candles.
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The Christmas tree stands proud at Westminster Abbey.
A relatively understated series of Christmas lights in front of the Belvedere Palace in Vienna.
An unusal array of Christmas lights envelop a truck in the city of Medellin, Colombia.
The notorious Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
Artisanal lights go on sale at Berlin's winter market.
A spectacular display of color-changing LED lights in Tokyo's Shiodome.
The Champs Elysees decorated with Christmas lights.
Christmas in the snowy city of Copenhagen.
Christmas lights on a house in New York.
The popular Senado Square in Macau where many tourists and locals gather to enjoy a beautiful evening.
Callaway Gardens' "Fantasy of Lights" is one of the largest light displays in the country, with more than 8 million individual lights across 15 scenes.
Surrounded by the Adirondacks, the village of Lake Placid provides a cozy home base for exploring the wilderness nearby and Olympics-inspired activities.
For the season, the Mall of America has created a life-sized gingerbread house, in partnership with HGTV. The mall will also host a holiday music festival among its hundreds of shops.
Far north, in Rovaniemi, Finland, "the official home of Santa Claus" has many attractions, including Santa himself.
A car wash worker in Santa gear washes a vehicle in Amritsar, India, on December 25.
A man decked out as Santa Claus slips through the back streets of Hamburg, Germany, on Monday, December 24. Related photos: Magnum Santas
A Steelers fan in a Santa outfit waves his Terrible Towel during the game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday, December 23, in Pittsburgh.
Members of a local yoga club perform at a public park wearing Santa Claus costumes in Hanoi, Vietnam, on December 23.
Indian sand artist Sudersan Pattnaik works on a sand sculpture with more than 500 Santa Claus statues on the beach in Puri, India, on Saturday, December 22.
Michael Pless, 62, catches a wave off Seal Beach, south of Los Angeles, on Friday, December 21, in California. Pless, who also runs a surfing school, has been dressing up as Santa Claus and taking to the waves in costume since the 1990s, sometimes joined by his wife, Jill, in a Mrs. Claus outfit.
A militarized police helicopter leaves a Santa Claus atop a school in a shantytown, or favela, of Rio de Janeiro on Thursday, December 20. This St. Nick, dressed in the white and blue colors of Peace Police Units, handed out toys among the children in the Brazilian slum.
Two Japanese Santas clean the windows of a Tokyo hotel on December 20.
Santa auditions an alternative species to pull his sleigh at the Marineland park in Antibes, France, on Wednesday, December 19.
Stuttgart fans don Santa hats during a German Cup match between VfB Stuttgart and 1. FC Köln on December 19 in Stuttgart, Germany.
A man dressed in a Santa Claus costume poses with a sea lion at the animal exhibition park Marineland, in France, on December 19.
Santa Claus walks out of the front door during a Christmas party hosted for sick children at 10 Downing Street on Monday, December 17, in London.
Santa Claus opens his coat to reveal a Matt Schaub jersey at Reliant Stadium on Sunday, December 16, in Houston, Texas, before the Texas Longhorns played the Indianapolis Colts.
Participants wear Santa costumes as they take part in a Santa Claus-themed race in downtown Milan, Italy, on December 16.
A man dressed up as Santa Claus appears at a demonstration in Paris for the legalization of same-sex marriage on December 16.
A fan stands out in his Santa Claus attire during an NFL game between the Baltimore Ravens and Denver Broncos on December 16 in Baltimore. Denver won 34-17.
A girl points out toys to Santa Claus on Saturday, December 15, in a store in Lille, France.
Costumed Santas crowd into a telephone booth during the Santacon pub crawl near London's Trafalgar Square on December 15.
Revelers in Santa costumes sit on the lion statue at the base of Nelson's Column in London's Trafalgar Square on December 15.
A member of a French anti-fur group wades into the sea during a beach protest to denounce the practice of wearing fur on December 15 in Nice, France.
A man dressed as Santa Claus sees a patient in the pediatric ward of a hospital in Guatemala City, Guatemala, on Friday, December 14.
A man decked out as Santa walks down Geary Street on December 14 in San Francisco.
A man wearing a Santa Claus costume performs in downtown Rome on Thursday, December 13.
Police check a man dressed as Santa Claus as he passes through a metal detector at the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday, December 12, in Washington.
Catholics United hold a press conference with Santa Claus in front of the U.S. Capitol to rebut the GOP's budget effort in the ongoing fiscal cliff argument on December 12 in Washington.
Icelandic philantropist Einar Sveinsson, dressed as Santa Claus, speaks with a patient in the oncology ward during a visit to the Benjamin Bloom National Children's Hospital in San Salvador, El Salvador, on Tuesday, December 11.
A man dressed as Ded Moroz, the Russian Santa Claus, entertains children at the Ded Moroz residence in Kuzminsky Park in Moscow on Tuesday, December 11.
A man dressed as Santa waits for customers in a wooden house in Rome on December 11.
A diver dressed as Santa Claus poses for a photograph with children during a promotional event for the "Sardines Feeding Show with Santa Claus" at the Coex Aquarium in Seoul, South Korea, on December 11.
Costumed participants of the annual "Best Father Frost" contest from different city districts make their way through a courtyard in Krasnoyarsk, Russia, on Monday, December 10.
A few thousand Santa Clauses ride between Gdansk and Gdynia, Poland, on Sunday, December 9. Santa Clauses rode on scooters, motorcycles and all-terrain vehicles between the two Polish cities.
Participants in the fourth annual Michendorf Santa Run, one wearing a camera on his head, gather shortly before the run on December 9 in Michendorf, Germany. More than 800 people took part in this year's races.
A woman and her dog in Santa suits prepare for the annual Glasgow Santa Dash on December 9 in Glasgow, Scotland.
Beachgoers carry a man wearing a Santa Claus costume on the Mediterranean coast on Saturday, December 8, in Nice, France.
Takashi Inui of Frankfurt, Germany, celebrates dressed as Santa Claus after the Bundesliga match between Eintracht Frankfurt and SV Werder Bremen on December 8 in Frankfurt am Main, Germany. Eintracht won 4-1.
A customer holds the door of a shopping mall for a man dressed as Santa Claus on December 8, in Berlin.
Valery Kokoulin, 47, rings a bell on his yacht to mark the end of the sailboat season on Friday, December 7, on the Yenisei River outside Krasnoyarsk, Russia. Temperatures in the Siberian city dipped to minus 9.4 degrees Fahrenheit.
Kokoulin stands aboard his yacht on December 7.
President Barack Obama greets Santa Claus with actors Neil Patrick Harris, Rico Rodriguez and musician Phillip Phillips during the 90th National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony at the White House on Thursday, December 6, in Washington, D.C.
A diver dressed as a Santa Claus dives with a nurse shark in the Sea Life Aquarium in Munich, Germany, on December 6, which is St. Nicholas Day.
Around 400 people dressed as Santa Claus arrive by train in Frankfurt am Main, Germany, on December 6.
A man dressed as a Santa Claus waves at the port in Hamburg, Germany, on December 6.
People in Santa Claus outfits imitate South Korean rapper Psy's famous "Gangnam Style" dance outside offices in Seoul, South Korea, on Wednesday, December 5. The dance marked the start of a charity mission to hand out gifts to children.
A man dressed as Santa Claus stands at The Paley Center for Media on December 5 in Beverly Hills, California.
Santa descends on a rope during Christmas Box Launch at Wellington Arch in London's Hyde Park on Tuesday, December 4.
Santa Claus, aka Tim Connaghan, sits in the audience while a Marine stands guard during a presentation at Ronald Reagan National Airport on Monday, December 3, as part of the Marines' Toys for Tots program. Thousand of donated toys are set to be delivered to families affected by Hurricane Sandy.
A spectator dressed as Santa Claus and wearing an Australian green cap watches the South African team walk out onto the field at a cricket match against Australia on December 3.
Runners dressed in Father Christmas costumes take part in the annual 5-kilometer Santa Dash in Liverpool, England, on Sunday, December 2. Many runners who refuse to run in red, the color of their football rivals Liverpool FC, wear blue to support the football team Everton FC.
A fan of the Baylor University Bears dresses up as Santa Claus while the Bears face the Oklahoma State University Cowboys on Saturday, December 1, in Waco, Texas.
Competitors run in the annual 6-kilometer Santa Run in Battersea Park, London, on December 1.
A man dressed as Santa leaves the the annual meeting of volunteer Santa Clauses and angels on December 1 in Berlin. Studentenwerk Berlin, a student organization at the German capital's technical university, hosts a general meeting for guidelines on participating in this year's events during the festive season.
Angels and Santa Clauses gather for the annual meeting on December 1 in Berlin.
A man dressed as Santa Claus attends Berlin's meeting of volunteer Santa Clauses and angels on December 1 in Berlin.
Men dressed as Santa Claus carry sacks through the meeting of volunteer Santa Clauses and angels on December 1 in Berlin.
A volunteer Santa Claus takes a nap during the general meeting outlining guidelines for Father Christmases in Berlin on December 1.
Volunteers in New York's 110th annual Sidewalk Santa Parade cross the street on Friday, November 23.
A diver wearing a Santa Claus costume feeds a sunfish during a Christmas show at the Hakkeijima Sea Paradise Aquarium in Yokohama, Japan, on Wednesday, November 21. The show will be held daily until Christmas Day.
Estonian Santa Claus "Santa Aare," from left, Dutch Santa Claus "Santa Holland" and Swedish Santa Claus "Snaretomten" compete in the Kicksled Sack Race during the Santa Claus Winter Games in Gallivare, Sweden, on Saturday, November 17. Santas from around the world gathered to participate in Christmas-themed competitions that weekend.
Santas from various countries compete in the porridge-eating contest during the Santa Claus Winter Games in Gallivare on November 17.
A Santa Claus representing the indigenous Sami people competes in the reindeer ride event during the Santa Claus Winter Games in Gallivare on November 17.
Japanese Santa Claus "Santa Paradise Yamamoto" hits the ground in the reindeer ride event during the competition in Gallivare on November 17. Related photos: Magnum Santas
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